Sidelined.

I'm writing to you today more out of frustration than anything.  I'm afraid my worst nightmare is coming true.  Injury.

It all started this past Monday or so.  A slight soreness in my foot, more like the ball of my foot.  It was a little ouchy, but it seemed minor so I kept going.  I ran my normal routine that morning, weights as usual on Tuesday and running on Wednesday.  Well, after Wednesday's run, I began to have trouble walking and it has steadily gotten worse.  I thought if I just chilled, took Friday off from activity that maybe it would get better and I thought it had.  Now today, I'm struggling.

I didn't feel like myself yesterday, I don't know why.  But, when I was eating breakfast this morning, trying to figure out what the heck I could do for some activity without doing any damage, I came up with nada.  Nothing.  And then I knew what was wrong with me yesterday.  I didn't do anything! This whole correlation between exercise and mood experts keep talking about...I think they're on to something. 

So, what am I battling today....fear, depression and let's be honest...just pure bitchiness.  Training starts Monday, but the way it's looking, I'll be heading to the doctor.  I'm scared that they'll find something that will put me on the sidelines which brings me to my ultimate fear...if I stop, will I start again?  I'm feeling sad, I feel like I want to DO something, but what can I do?  Hiking is out, walking is a struggle, the bike is out (pressure on the ball of my foot is like driving a nail in between my toes), the eliptical is out and I've already done strength training for the week.  Any more and my muscles will never talk to me again. So, what do I do?

Scary times for me, people.  Scary times.

Time flies.....

I happened to look at my Google calendar and almost had a panic attack. Just as soon as I got used to the In-between (and loving it!), this "10K Madness" training starts in five days. FIVE! Inconcievable. That means only one more run-whatever-the-heck-I-want-too day left! I am beginning to question this decision. Seriously, what in the world was I thinking?! Am I going to be able to handle this Fartlek thing? Can I really increase my speed and do I really want to? I'm kinda liking my turtle speed right now. Hill training? WTF. Am I sane?

Regardless of all the questions and hesitation I have right now, bottom line...I got myself into this, now I have to finish it. I've already put my money down and opened my mouth; and since I said I was going to do it, I have to follow through. I'll keep reminding myself this will bring me one step closer to running the Boilermaker in July 2012 with Mr. Cross Country Runner Extrodinarre, otherwise known as my nephew, Adam (and any other Dunlaps and relations that may want join in the torture fun).

While I still question my sanity, training starts with an easy 3 on Monday. The bright side? That's pretty much what we've been doing already, so that's a plus. Bad news, the following Monday is a 4 mile Fartlek. Once I figure out what that is, I'll let you know.

Wish me luck...and stay tuned. This might be entertaining...