What's that you say?

You didn't know?

You mean you don't have a gift for me?

Don't worry my friend, I won't hold it against you.

I know it's a crime that the entire country has not shut down for this very special day.

It is a national holiday after all.

And it's unfortunate that we can't do it justice.

Which day is that I speak of, you ask?

Why, my friend........................

It's National Peanut Butter Day!!!

excuse me while I (nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom)......