One in a Million

I just read an article from The Washington Running Report about the Marine Corps Marathon sellout and fiasco that happened earlier this week.  I didn't plan on running MCM this year, but since I did last year, I felt some kind of kinship with all that were sitting in front of their computers watching the minutes click down until registration opened.  And because of the record sellout last year and the increasing popularity in the sport (Hey, I'm a new girl on the scene, and even I can see the growth!), I was really curious to see how it would play out this year.  So I watched and read for 2 hours and 27 minutes, and my heart sank when the announcement was made.

Now, I could spout off on how Active.com FUBAR'd registration for a 2nd major race in as many months.  I could even find argument in Active's defense.  And I supposed I could go on an on about the pros and cons of a lottery system and pray to the heavens that the idea qualifying times never enters the picture.  But I won't.

So, why am I writing?  Not why you think.

Out of all the "blah blah hooha", one line in this article struck a chord:

"Last year, 23,519 runners finished Marine Corps..."

We've all heard the saying, "you are one in a million!"  Hell, we've probably said it a time or two.

But I am NOT one in a million.

I am one in 23,519.

And I think that's pretty cool.

To Marathon Or Not to Marathon....

That is the question.

I honestly don't know which is harder, deciding to run your first marathon or deciding if you want to run a second.

For the first one, let's be honest, you REALLY don't know what you've signed up for.  I mean, yes, you know it's going to be hard.  It's 26.2 miles for heaven's sake, how can it not?  You know it's going to be a big commitment of time and focus. You've heard all the stories about long training runs, lost toe nails, sore muscles, but you hear about this "amazing feeling" once you cross that finish line.  So you register for The Big One because you need to see for yourself what it's all about.

Now, for the second one, let's be honest, now YOU KNOW.  Now you know all about sore muscles, lost toe nails, aches where you didn't even know things existed.  You've since named your foam roller because, well since we're being honest, you two really need to be on a first-name-basis to roll the places you need to roll.  You've learned about epsom salts and Biofreeze.  You've had your crash course in gels and chomps, whether or not your GI system can handle regular or x2 caffeine, or if any caffeine at all.  And hopefully you learned this lesson while you were safe at home near a bathroom and not out in the middle of a run (no pun intended). You know what it means to be truly exhausted, you know that once the training cycle starts your social life takes a bit of a hit.  Not to mention the no-beer-for-a-month thing.  And then, throw in the I'm-unable-to-move-any-part-of-my-body-for-a-week-after thing.

You now know all this.  You now understand what marathon is, what it entails.
But now, now you've already figured out how to hydrate, how to eat, if you can tolerate caffeine or not.  You have named your foam roller and you two are now BFFs.  Now you've figured out the more difficult stuff, you've lived the learning curve, you're now a step ahead.

And you now know what doing a marathon really means.

So. So now I know.
Decisions, decisions.  Why on earth am I considering another?  Especially after the Battle of Myrtle Beach?

To marathon or not to marathon.  That is the question.

It's kinda like Christmas...

Hi folks.  Lots have happened since my last post.  Well, lots of miles anyway; 26.2 to be exact.  And there are lots of words to say and pictures to show, but we'll get to all that in time.

Right now, I thought we'd talk about a little thing called "recovery."

I was prepared for a lot of things; pain, celebration beer, mile 20, fatigue, porta potties....
And I was not prepared for a lot of things; the number of men seen peeing on the side of the road (really, no shame), the mob of people, the actual amount of shot blocks and hammer gels I would actually consume....
And I was not prepared for the days following. Physically, I was fine by Wednesday.  Stairs and toilets were no longer my enemy.  But mentally? Well folks, I'll be honest with you.  It wasn't pretty.  

Do you remember, when you were a kid, watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on tv?  Seeing all the floats and marching bands go by, picking out the big balloons and dancing like a Rockette in your living room?  Okay, I may have been the only one practicing her kick line...but nonetheless, we all got excited when that last float came into view.  You know, the one with the jolly old man himself!  It marked the beginning of the holiday season.  You got your Sears Wish Book or the Toys R Us catalog in the mail...you made your "What I Want for Christmas" list, you waited, counted down the days, anticipating, dreaming.  And then Christmas Eve came and you could hardly sleep.  You just knew that jolly man was downstairs filling up the stockings, piling up the presents under the tree....You've been waiting for this day for WEEKS, and then, just like that

it was over.

No more cookies.  No more candy.  No more special hot cocoa with the peppermint stick.  No more parties. All the branches of your family tree returned to their own forests.  You're left.  All alone. Among the ripped wrappings and the once shiny bows that now have lost their luster.

Yea.  That's what my recovery was like.
Folks...I didn't even want peanut butter.  Now you know it had to be bad!

I've heard recovery is different for everybody.  People closest to me kept saying..."don't worry, it's normal."  No way in HELL was this normal!  All I wanted to do was lay in a fetal position and watch NCIS re-runs.  And I did.  And I felt horrible about it, but I still couldn't seem to pick myself up.  And then the flashbacks started.  Back to the times when I was happy laying on the couch feeding my face with Hershey Nuggets with Toffee, watching movies or the entire collection of X-Files, and I got scared.  So scared.  I began to wonder if I'd be able to get out of the spiral before I ended up like that again.  What's next?  What will I do now?  I don't have a plan.  I always have a plan.

I wanted to cry, but I didn't have tears.  I wanted to get up, but I didn't have the desire.  I wanted to sleep, but I couldn't close my eyes.  Before I knew it, my "vacation" was over.  Friday came and I had to get back to work.  I had to get back to something.  And then hour by hour, the haze began to clear.  I started feeling okay again.  I started to feel back to normal.  I could smile.  I saw a picture of myself crossing the finish and then it all rushed back to me.  That feeling of accomplishment, of pride, my sense of self.  And without even realizing it, my fingers typed that email...

Hi Coach Sarah -
So.  What's next :)

Bottom line.  Training is different for everyone.  And now I understand that recovery is different for everyone.  I wasn't expecting this depression, this grief.  I'm writing this today to tell you, Fellow Newbie That Might Be Reading, that no, not everyone experiences this; but if you do, it's okay.  Don't panic.  And a small warning...you're going to want to punch people when they tell you "allow yourself a few days,"  but before you throw down you need to remember these three words....they are right.

Allow yourself a few days, and before you know it, you'll be making that "What I Want List...."  Mine may or may not include a road bike ;)

You know it's almost "Go Time" when....

• you can access the 10-day weather forecast for race day
• your entire GU supply has disappeared
• you are counting the hours until your pre-race massage because all of your muscles are on freaking fire
• it's time to make the carb-load grocery list
• you have used all your body glide
• the reminder to pay your life insurance arrives in your mailbox
• you start making your road trip play list (or rather, have Jyl make it because you are iTunes challenged)
• your long runs are now 3 or 4 miles
• you want to eat everything within your reach or sight.....or dream about
• you have 20 different lists going because you write stuff down as you think of things to do or items to pack, only to forget which list you put it on or where the location of said list is
• I'd write more but I can't find my list.....

Mondays. They're like reset buttons....

I don't remember if I've written about Mondays.  And if I have, I'm not going to apologize for a repeat.  It's a good reminder that the angle you choose to look at things will determine their outcome.  And I'm going to use Mondays as an example.

I used to LOATHE Mondays.  But now, it's like a fresh start every 8th day!  Do I love Mondays?  No.  But I do look forward to them.  I take a minute to reflect on the week before.  Did I do everything I needed to? Did I do it to the best of my ability?  Etcetera.  Yes?  No?  Room for improvement?  If the answer was the two latter, I don't beat myself up over it.  I accept it, figure out what I can do different, and when the clock strikes midnight,VIOLA!  New day, new beginnings, an opportunity to do.....well, to do better.  To BE better.

Last week I was not the picture of good nutrition.  I fell back into some bad habits (yes, folks, I have found my jar of peanut butter again) and fell into some new ones (cookie time with the hubby = danger danger!).  Hydration, well, I am not drinking as much as I NEED to be, especially running in this (insert cuss word here) humidity.  I do okay with food during the day while I'm at work, but once I would get home it would be a peanut butter/pretzel/ Special K crisp gorge fest.  Last night I got into some brie.... my gosh!  I even stopped my food log because I did not want to enter all the crap I would stuff my face with!  My justification?  Oh, that's okay, I'm marathon training.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Wrong answer.
"Time to hit the refresh button, good thing tomorrow is Monday..."

So today.  I have already consumed the amount water I need.  I have entered everything into my food app, I have my dinner planned (and its marinating as we speak and I'm beginning to drool just thinking about it).  I have plans to keep my little hands busy sand I have a pint of strawberries and cherries waiting to get me through cookie time with hubby.  Heck.  I even remembered to take my vitamins!

I am already thinking ahead to each workout and being mindful of how what I eat will help me achieve this week's schedule.  To eat to achieve instead of eating for comfort or to save me from boredom.

I happen to be talking about food and nutrition and exercise as an example.  Why?  Because marathon training happens to be my existence right now. BUT, I use this Monday refresh for all aspects of my life.  Home, work, school, friends...my attitude, my outlook, how I treat others...how I treat myself.

My refresh happens to be Mondays.  Yours can be Tuesday, or Thursdays...or go bold and be my hero and make your refresh every time your alarm clock goes off!

The point is, is that nothing will ever be better by beating yourself up over it.  If anything, that makes it worse.  

Find your refresh.  It's a clean slate waiting for you.

Lazy

This past Saturday, I was a tad early for my 7:00 a.m. group run.  While I was waiting, I tried to catch up on my Words with Friends games.  I burst out laughing when it showed my opponent's last word played: L-A-Z-Y.  Why did I laugh?  Because I was meeting people at 7 in the morning to run 7 miles, hurry home to load up the Jeep only to go paddle the Dan River for 9 more miles.

This weekend, we are heading to the mountains on a hiking trip (that may or may not produce another post, consider yourself warned), and who knows how many miles they have planned for me then!  But, since I wasn't going to be here this weekend, I had to rearrange my week to get everything in; including all my training workouts.  So, I biked and ran Tuesday morning, biked and swam Wednesday night, and then yesterday, I was out on the roads at 5:30 a.m. to get in an 8 mile run.  A much needed run since it's my last long training run before the Boilermaker next weekend.

What's funny is that I've always considered myself "lazy".  Still do.  I don't always get my housework done.  I don't always get my homework done.  I don't always cross off my to-do's on my daily list.  If you were to ask me why, I would probably say, "I guess I was just lazy."

And then I was talking to a very close and special friend of mine.  Someone who happens to be one of the biggest over-achievers known to the universe, who takes on more than she should but ALWAYS gets it all done to a higher standard than most of us would consider.  She called herself lazy.  Which made me go BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

And then it got me thinking.

Folks.  If you're like me, you schedule 70hrs worth of things to do in a day (okay, slight exaggeration but you get my point!)

Just because we don't get everything we "think" should get done in 24 hrs, just because sometimes we opt to do something that we enjoy instead of work that needs to be done, just because we may take a day off from the everyday crap we have to deal with does NOT mean we are lazy.

It means we are human.

It means that we care enough about ourselves to make sure we take the time to stop and smell the roses sometimes.

And the next time you start to use the "L" word....cut yourself some slack!

Forgiveness

If it's one thing I've learned, is that we are way to hard on ourselves, and our punishments are sometimes way too severe.  Let me ask, does the punishment always fit the "crime"?  And does the punishment really make anything better?

I've found, if anything, it just makes it worse.  It's the dreaded downward spiral and it's so hard to dig out of.  So, please take my advice and just don't go down there.  Did you eat too many M&Ms?  You know you shouldn't have.  But it's done.  Accept that you did and do better tomorrow. But for heaven's sake don't beat yourself up over it.  Did you only run 2 miles when you should have run 4?  You know what?  It's okay!  Don't try to do more tomorrow to make up for it.  Accept it, just don't skimp out on the next run.

When I was younger, I parted ways with my closest friend.  She was a sister to me.  Why did we?  I have no idea.  I can't even remember.  But for about five years I held a grudge.  I held a grudge for something I couldn't even really remember.  It's like that family feud that lasts for centuries and continues even though no one remembers what started it in the first place.  I don't know if it was age, time or what, but I found forgiveness for her, but I still couldn't forgive myself.  I couldn't forgive myself for letting a relationship so special and rare dissolve into thin air.  I wanted to fix it, but I just couldn't reach out.  So for a few more years, I dug myself further down the hole.   Thankfully, she was there to help me back out.

By holding yourself in contempt, you're only hurting yourself and holding yourself back.  Don't let yourself go so far over that you can't be brought back.  Forgive yourself because you, my friend, are the only one who can.

And when you can forgive yourself, you can start to love yourself.
And that is when all the magic happens.

 

Traditions

I don't remember much from my childhood, bugs my family to no end!  But there are a few things I remember, especially our Christmas traditions.

Christmas always started for us on the Eve at Grandma's house.  I was too young to realize or understand everything that was going on, but I do know the kids, well me anyway, eagerly awaited present time.  You see, every Christmas Eve we were allowed to open one present only, and every Christmas Eve you could count on a new pair of pajamas!!!  Pajamas we looked forward too every year, pajamas we would try on and model and then get tucked into bed so Santa could come. 

Christmas morning would find mom and dad with their thermos of coffee and us kids ripping open first our stockings and then our presents while the homemade cinnamon rolls were baking in the oven for our breakfast.  The rest of the day we would play with our toys, eat cinnamon rolls and watch Christmas movies (White Christmas is still a favorite!) IN our new pajamas.

As we've grown older, moved into our own homes with our spouses, most of out traditions have disappeared or evolved.  For instance, Christmas Eve is now at my brother's house, I try to make it "home" every other year to be with my family, and I no longer get my pajamas.  I'm not a big fan of change, might be the little bit of OCD in me.  Some traditions I've tried to institute within my own family, but without much luck.  I'll be honest, it's made me a little sad over the years.  I know not all my family traditions could work with my new family, I mean, I married in and they already have their own traditions in place, but heck, you can't blame a girl for tryin', right? 

Merry Christmas!!!

So, instead of getting sad, I've realized this morning that I can start making my own traditions...for myself.  This morning, I went out for my first ever Christmas Day run.  Since I don't plan on stopping running, hopefully this is something that I can do for myself every year.  To come off of the holiday stress, to maintain sanity among the holiday hustle and bustle,  to ward off the Christmas cookie assault!  So, here I am, with a picture to prove it!

But between you and me, I still want my pajamas.

This has got to stop...

This incessant eating.  It must end.  And what is scary is that I'm stuffing my face with whatever edible thing I can find.  It's no particular craving.  I'm not particularly hungry.  And what's even scarier?  I'm not walking or lifting weights; I'm not cycling, swimming or running (sadly).  I'm sitting on my arse in front of stupid (but I love them) television shows and LOADING MY FREAKING FACE LIKE A CHIPMUNK WITH ITS CHEEKS PUFFED OUT.

It's time to take a step back and evaluate.  I need to figure out why I'm doing this to myself.  It's not like it makes me feel good.  It makes me feel the complete opposite.  I feel like I've let myself down.  And the guilt...don't forget about the guilt.  But this I pledge to you.  I will NOT go back to that size 18 pant.  I will NOT let myself be tempted by the temporary euphoria food gives me; it's not real.  What is real is how good I felt when I was active and eating healthy; how confident I was and how I felt I could take on the world.

Tomorrow is December 1.  Tomorrow is a new day and a new month.  Tomorrow I will fight to get myself back.  This I pledge:

• food logs will resume
• workouts will resume
• lots of water will be drunk
• meals will be cooked at home
• no junk food will enter the threshold
• I will forego the Christmas cookie bake-a-thon
• I will remain honest about my progress
• I will hold myself accountable
• I will succeed.

"Gobble, Gobble, Gobble, Gobble"

Thanksgiving.  What a wonderful holiday!  It is a day we all should take a moment and reflect on our good fortunes and give thanks for all we have been given.  It is sad however, that with many of the other holidays we celebrate, the true meaning gets a little lost.  Instead of a day of thanks, it has become a day when gluttony runs rampant and is accepted.  And we all participate.  Present company included.  And for those of us trying to trim down, eat healthy and/ or meet our "goal weight"... resistance is futile. The battle is lost before it even begins.  We say to ourselves...it's just one day.  What can one day hurt?  But one day turns into leftovers the next day, and before you know it, we are fully immersed into our food addiction again.

I had a wonderful day with my husband's family.  Lots of laughs, some tears (Granny always seems to make us cry when giving the Blessing), wonderful food.  Oh my goodness, the food.

(note:  I don't think it's a coincidence that turkeys say "gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble."  It's like they are telling us what to do.  And we listen.  We listen to the turkeys...)

After our first round of vittles around 1:00 pm and a cup of coffee, we recover and what do we do?  WE KEEP EATING!  Even though there is no room left in our little tummies, we keep stuffing it in.  And then, what do we do?  WE EAT AGAIN!  Golly.  Why on earth do we do this to ourselves?  Yes, it tastes oh so good...but it makes us feel oh so sick.  Then, the only "thanks" we are offering is "thanks" no one vomited on the dining room table (I know, gross, but you know I'm telling the truth!).

And then we have what I call "The Day After Guilt."  You know what I mean.  Let's just call it what it was...we just had a one night stand with food.  You ask yourself, "OMG, what did I do?"

What did you do?  You listened to the turkeys....

Trim the Fat

When I was driving into work a morning or so ago, I had a revelation.

Autumn has always been my favorite time of year.  Cool, crisp days.  Cinnamon donuts with apple cider.  And the changing leaves.  Oh the leaves!  As deep as fire and as bright as the sun.  The leaves just might be my favorite thing about autumn.  So why haven't I seen them this year?  Yes, I noticed they were changing, but I failed to actually SEE it.  How can that happen?

I tell you how.  I've been so wrapped up in life that I've forgotten to Do Life.  Sometimes you just need to take a step back and re-evaluate what it is you actually want....and trim the fat!  I had so much going on, I think I've lost track of what it was I really want and what I need to do to get there.

I was taking a water cardio and a water jogging class to help me get used to the water before I started to learn how to swim.  Then I started swimming lessons.  So, I've been trying to do both with limited time and limited pool access; and getting so overwhelmed that I was stressing myself out so much I wouldn't do either.  I was ashamed that I always had to tell my swimming instructor that I haven't been able to practice the drills she gave me.  So, I stepped back and looked at what I was really trying to accomplish.  I want to swim.  I won't get better if I can't invest the time or focus.  So, I made a decision. I dropped the water classes.  Hopefully this will allow me to get the practice time in I need in the limited time frame I'm allowed.  We'll see, but I already feel better.

This past week was registration for next semester's classes.  I registered for 3 classes, putting me in Charlotte at 3:30-9:15 pm on Tuesdays, 6:30-9:15 on Wednesday and 3:30-4:45 on Thursday.  Plus working, plus running/training, plus....there are a lot of pluses!  This morning I looked at the schedule.  And it's like I saw it for the first time.  And then I said...."Am I sane?  Do you realize what you're about to do to yourself?"  I logged into the registration site and said, "goodbye Tuesday/Thursday 3:30 class!"
Note:  keep your fingers crossed that it's offered again at a reasonable time slot in the future....I really wanted to take that class...

There are definitely things that suck that you need to suffer through.  But there is a lot going on in my life that may not be a necessary hell.  You can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be taking a good look at what else I can trim, and not just from my waist line!

TTFN!

Struggling

It's amazing, really.  I've seen myself change, improve, over the course of only a few months.  I can't express how pleased I am with my own progress. I became stronger, trimmer, faster......happier.  And now, I have to admit to you all that I have not continued with my pursuit of health and happiness.  My journey of re-discovery has come to a screeching halt.

About 3 weeks ago, I came down with a simple head cold.  No bother, I thought.  I'll be better in a few days.  The following week, it got worse and to add to it, I was on vacation.  Those are two big strikes against what little motivation I had.  This week...week #3, I'm still sitting on my butt.  So, what's my problem?

I'm struggling.  I'm struggling to get back into it.  I'm struggling to find joy in anything, let alone getting up at 5am for a strength workout or a speed run.  I'm struggling.  I'm scared.  I don't want to revert back to who I was, because I was really beginning to like, no, love, who I was becoming.

So how.  How do I find it in me?  How do I start back?

Scary times, folks.  Scary times.

It pays to get out of your comfort zone...

I had already planned on a 6.5 run this  morning.  I had already planned on doing it around 7:00am'ish.  What I didn't plan on was the opportunity to take a step out of my comfort zone.

People, when you get down to it, I'm a shy person and it takes a lot for me to go meet people I don't know.  Well, I saw a post on a local running group's Facebook page.  Normally I see posts like..."heading out for 10 mile run at a 8:30 pace" or "20 mile at marathon pace" or "doing any easy 6.....at the speed of sound".  These posts are intimidating!  These people are scary! Not them personally of course.  I'm sure they are lovely people, and reading their banter always makes me laugh and brightens my day. But let's face it.  I'm not near that capablity.  I don't have the distance and I don't come CLOSE to having the speed.  So...I take myself out and go at my own penguin pace.  Except today. 

Yesterday I saw a post saying "6-8 at an easy pace".  Well normally, their easy is my race pace times a gazillion.  And then I saw "10:00 or slower".  DING DING DING DING  I thought to myself, "self, you should throw caution to the wind, and give it a go."  So, though I worried about keeping up and talking coherently while I ran and my normal meet-new-people-anxiety, I went.  And I'm so glad I did.

We had a fabulous run.  It was a gorgeous day, and this may have been the fastest 6.5 I've ever run.  Not in actual time, but the companionship and the conversation made it fly!  Then, post run, we sat outside with a cup of java in front of the local coffee shop on a very busy Main St. It was nice to meet you, my new friends!  I hope we get to do it again.  Good times!!

So, to those reading.  Don't be afraid to move outside your comfort zone every once in awhile.  Sometimes it works out much better than you expect!

TTFN

Time to hop back on...

So folks, since I believe in nothing but honesty, I will tell you I had a rough time of it last week.  I took a nosedive off the nutrition wagon.  Mid-terms just about did me in this semester.  At first I thought I was handling it very well, I wasn't freaking out one bit.  But then I looked down and realized I was on my third bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch...and didn't stop there.

But that was last week.  Today is Monday and you know what I say about Mondays.  With every Monday is a fresh beginning!  So, to help myself get back on the wagon, I pledge the following:

• resume my food log 
• plan out my meals and go grocery shopping
• increase my water intake instead of alcohol intake
• keep the splurges to once in the evenings and not once at every meal
• keep to my workout schedule.  
• take my vitamins every day 
• to honor this pledge until Finals, at which time I reserve the right to take back everything I just said.  (smiles)

I'll let you know how it goes....

TTFN!

Time flies...

Wait...wasn't it just August?

Holy cow how time is flying.  I can't believe it is already October.  I can't  believe it's already mid-terms at school.  I can't believe it's only 50F outside and the leaves are starting to turn.  I can't believe it's almost time for our annual fall beach trip.  I can't believe Christmas is only two months away.  As each day's twenty-four hours goes by faster than the day before, it's time to take stock of what we've done before we lose track of what we've accomplished.  Get out a  pen and paper and write down the littlest of victories and the biggest of goals you've achieved in the last two months.  I'll do mine here, in no particular order:

1. I recovered from my injury and started back to the gym.
2. I paid my fall semester tuition.
3. I started my running back at a half mile and increased my mileage to 6.2 in 3 weeks.
4. I ran my first 10K at a pace faster than my last 5K.
5. I started to learn how to swim.
6. I can throw caution to the wind and wear a bathing suit in semi-public.
7. I quit smoking.  (2 months ago as of October 4)
8. I've been able to drink 80oz of water in one day.
9. I've been able to go tinkle 80 times in one day (yes, slight exaggeration, but not much of one)
10. I haven't had a piece of pizza.
11. I survived mid-terms.

I think that's about it.  Not a bad two months!  I think you'll find that you'll be pleased with your results too.  Just remember, it's not always about the big things.  You need to take pride in the little things too, 'cause boy do they add up!

Time to hit the hay.  I've got a strength workout in the morning and I'm going to REALLY TRY to do my run in the afternoon.  I have a hill workout planned, and it's way to dark to do it in the morning.  Cross your fingers for me.  There is a reason I do my workouts in the morning...once that clock strikes 5:00 p.m., it's quittin' time!

TTFN!!

Am I okay with being slow?

I was out on a 5mi run one lovely morning.  The temps were not scorching, humidity was not choking and the sun was not quite that high in the sky.  I felt fantastic!  I felt like I was flying, barely touching the ground with each stride.  I remember thinking to myself, "My gosh I'm going so fast!"  At that same moment, I was passed by two people.  I couldn't believe it!  Really?  If I'm flying, they must be launching into orbit!  And then...I looked at my watch and it revealed to me the Turtle pace I was actually going.  But the Turtle beats the Hare, right?

A slow pace just feels good.  It feels like I can go on forever.  And when I'm done?  I have a high that carries me all day long.  All is right with the world!  But, there is one small problem.

I don't like to be passed, and I don't like to lose.  So, how do I reconcile this feel-good feeling with the nice and easy pace with this competitiveness I seemed to have developed?  What if I am a one-paced wonder?  Can I be okay with that?

In all honesty, I have not done any kind of speed work and I've made all my runs this month easy runs just to recover and get the mileage in before last week's 10K.  So can I get faster?  It's possible.  People say that intervals work wonders.  Kelly has me starting speed work on Monday, so we'll see if the legend is true.  For now...i'm off for an easy 5m.  It's precipitating today, so it looks like I am treadmill bound today.  Yes, I could brave the elements...but I'm a weenie baby when it comes to wet stuff falling from the sky.

TTFN!

Running as an Addiction

Hello.  I'm Hope, and I have an addictive personality.

I'm thankful and lucky that this has not led me down destructive pathways as it has for many, but I am an addict nonetheless.  Some of the addictions I've overcome border on trivial and idiotic, like Diet Coke and sugar; heck...I'm addicted to chapstick for heaven's sake.  True story.  If that little tube of lovliness is not in my pocket, and I need my fix...my hands get sweaty, my heart beats faster...I can't concentrate, I'm on high alert and get extremely aggitated.  But one of my addictions had become a bit too serious and I had to become a quitter.  As of 11:00 a.m. Tuesday, September 6, 2011, I have been four weeks smoke free.  (YAY!!!)

But I wonder.....have I again substituted one addiction for another?  Have I replaced one high for another?  Is running an addiction?

Easy answer, and I think most will agree, is yes.  Now, we know I'm not scientifically gifted, but let's think about it.  After we run for a significant period of time, chemicals are released in our body and when we're done, we experience a feeling of sheer invincibility, euphoria...it might be different for each person, but I'm confident in saying that this is the endorphin rush or "runner's high" that people speak so fondly of.  It's truly a remarkable rush.  It's...well, it's addicting.  We all know it.  Now, we may not talk about it, but we know it.  Even Nike picked up on it and incorporated it into a (brilliant) marketing tool:  http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/if-running-addiction-nike-wants-be-your-dealer-133617

So now I ask....is running a healthy addiction?  Most wouldn't think twice about saying "well of course it is!" But let's look at it a little deeper.  This rush.  It makes us do things we normally wouldn't do.  I think my mother would agree with me that no way in hell would I wake up a 5:00 in the morning to exercise.  But guess what?  5:00 and I'm up....I need my fix.  This rush.  It makes us keep coming back, no matter what.  I mean we push ourselves constantly, to run further to run faster.  We become obsessed with PRs and splits.  And then we push harder, punishing our bodies until we injure ourselves.  And then we are forced to stop.  Withdrawal symptoms set in; irritability, lack of focus, depression.  We crave the rush so badly that we may ignore the fact we are hurt, ignore the pain, and in the end just hurting ourselves more.

This is actually a pretty interesting theory I've got going on here and I could probably keep writing on and on.  But, I'll spare you!   I guess i just want all my friends to be careful.  Run.  Always run. Please do! But always be mindful that any addiction, no matter how "healthy" you think it can be, can also be as destructive.

Now...I'm off to run my 5.5m  ;-)

TTFN!