Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Words for Wednesday


It's hard to dance with the devil on your back,
So shake him off.


- Florence + The Machine
"Shake It Out" 
Ceremonials (2011)

Friday, October 24, 2014

Thank you Juan Pablo


Last weekend when I was working at the store, I was witness to a very odd conversation.  Which, it is a store that specializes in triathlon gear and what not, so we do have many odd conversations; but this one really tops the podium...

The scene fades in.
Two young women enter.  One is a competitive open water endurance swimmer, the other competing in her first 70.3 in Miami. They are browsing the store, random chit chat ensues while the triathlete decides on her nutritional goodies.  They both walk up to the register, in no particular hurry, until the swimmer sees the stick of Body Glide near the register....

Swimmer:  OOOH  Body Glide!  I wonder if this would prevent me chaffing in my longer 3 mile swims.
My Thought Bubble:  3 mile OWS?  I would surely die before chaffing would be an issue.
Triathlete:  Hey, do you think they have that numbing gel they were talking about?
My Thought Bubble:  Numbing gel?  What on earth....
Swimmer:  I don't know?
Me:  Um....What exactly are you looking to numb?
Triathlete:  You know....for down there (motions to her nether regions)....for when I'm on the bike.
My Thought Bubble:  Did she just say what I think she said?
Me:  I can't say that I would willingly and intentionally, or encourage anyone to, put on something to make lady parts go numb.....
Triathlete:  (blank stare)
My fellow sales associate:  That is one area where I would definitely want to keep the blood flowing.....
My Thought Bubble:  BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Triathlete: (blank stare)
Me:  What kind of saddle do you have??

Which leads me to today's Public Service Announcement.

Ladies and Gentleman.
If you are riding your bike and your nether regions go numb, SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT.  Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Take my lead on this one.  Load up your faithful steed and proceed directly to your bike guru.  Have him look at your position and definitely look at getting a new saddle. The right fit on both will ensure your parts keep working as they should and your long bike rides will immediately become (cough) pleasurable, without the use of numbing gels.

It may sound like I'm poking fun, and I am a little because it was hysterical!  BUT I can write about it and poke fun at it because I've been in that same predicament.  My guru helped me choose a split saddle.  The Adamo Prologue to be exact.  And his name is Juan Pablo.

There are multiple variations of the type, open nose, closed nose...whatever, I don't pretend to know all the ins and outs. What I do know is that each has an opening that safely cradles all that we hold dear.  They are not cheap, nothing in this sport is, but I firmly believe that this is the one (cough) area where you should go ahead and make a serious investment.  Your nethers will thank you.

So, I owe a debt of gratitude to James for introducing me to Juan Pablo.  And thank you Juan Pablo for proving to me that chivalry is NOT dead by protecting this lady and all her parts through lots of miles.  May we share many many more long comfortable journeys together!