My Resolution for 2012?

Is not to make any!  Let's face it, we never keep them.  We have the best of intentions, but it never fails, 1 day, 1 week, 1 month in...KAPLOWEEE!  Our resolutions blow up in our faces.

I've found the promises I make for myself throughout the year tend to last instead of the ones I make on New Year's Eve.  Maybe because they are truly changes that I wanted to make.  I made a commitment to myself without the pressure of a day or a tradition. To make a change, you truly have to WANT to do it, not just say you're going too, know what I'm saying?  So, don't be pressured into coming up with something by the stroke of midnight.  If anything, promise yourself that you'll look back at 2011 and see how far you've come and raise your glass as the clock strikes 12:00.  And then tomorrow, ponder the possibilities of what 2012 may bring.

So, when people ask you what your New Year's resolution will be, you can say "none for me."

....Except for maybe doing food logs.....(wink)

Happy New Year!  Y'all be safe tonight, and I'll see you next year!  (i know, i know, corny joke, but it just never gets old!)

Traditions

I don't remember much from my childhood, bugs my family to no end!  But there are a few things I remember, especially our Christmas traditions.

Christmas always started for us on the Eve at Grandma's house.  I was too young to realize or understand everything that was going on, but I do know the kids, well me anyway, eagerly awaited present time.  You see, every Christmas Eve we were allowed to open one present only, and every Christmas Eve you could count on a new pair of pajamas!!!  Pajamas we looked forward too every year, pajamas we would try on and model and then get tucked into bed so Santa could come. 

Christmas morning would find mom and dad with their thermos of coffee and us kids ripping open first our stockings and then our presents while the homemade cinnamon rolls were baking in the oven for our breakfast.  The rest of the day we would play with our toys, eat cinnamon rolls and watch Christmas movies (White Christmas is still a favorite!) IN our new pajamas.

As we've grown older, moved into our own homes with our spouses, most of out traditions have disappeared or evolved.  For instance, Christmas Eve is now at my brother's house, I try to make it "home" every other year to be with my family, and I no longer get my pajamas.  I'm not a big fan of change, might be the little bit of OCD in me.  Some traditions I've tried to institute within my own family, but without much luck.  I'll be honest, it's made me a little sad over the years.  I know not all my family traditions could work with my new family, I mean, I married in and they already have their own traditions in place, but heck, you can't blame a girl for tryin', right? 

Merry Christmas!!!

So, instead of getting sad, I've realized this morning that I can start making my own traditions...for myself.  This morning, I went out for my first ever Christmas Day run.  Since I don't plan on stopping running, hopefully this is something that I can do for myself every year.  To come off of the holiday stress, to maintain sanity among the holiday hustle and bustle,  to ward off the Christmas cookie assault!  So, here I am, with a picture to prove it!

But between you and me, I still want my pajamas.

Little Lung's Return

That title sounds like it could be a movie.  I can see it now, the role of Hope "Little Lung" Childress to be played by Mila Kunis....

Anyway.  Instead of a really nifty name like "Dances with Wolves" or "Runs with Horses" or "Speaks in Quotation Marks", I have been given the name "Little Lung."  Maybe it's not as endearing as some, but it is valiant just the same and I absolutely adore my new name!  The last two or three months of 2011 for me have been filled with mucus and two lungs that might as well have been underwater.  I have since made a 99.9% recovery and have resumed my workouts and eating somewhat better, just like I told you I would.  Here was my pledge list and an update in progress:

• food logs will resume (Well, kinda)
• workouts will resume (CHECK!!!)
• lots of water will be drunk  (CHECK!!!!....where's the bathroom?)
• meals will be cooked at home (CHECK!!!!....Food for Thought posts forthcoming!)
• no junk food will enter the threshold  (um....sure?)
• I will forego the Christmas cookie bake-a-thon  (no bake-a-thon, but I did do one batch, and yes, I ate most of them.  crikey.)
• I will remain honest about my progress (See bullet points above)
• I will hold myself accountable (Do Life Movement forums, a whole bunch of AWESOMENESS!!!)
• I will succeed.  (Still in process, but I'm sayin'.....OH HELL YEAH I AM!)

Being it's the holiday season, accountability is going to be KEY to get us all through with only limited collateral damage.  Have a cookie.  Have two, but for heaven's sake don't pull a Hope and eat the whole gosh darn plate!

And with this post, I lead us, and SeriouslyHope, into the holiday season.  I am going to say Merry Christmas, because it is the best way I know how to wish everyone the best of wishes, whatever holiday you celebrate, and a very happy, healthy and active 2012.  It's going to be a great year folks.  I can feel it.

Okay Ma!  It's time to put the coffee on, get out my Vixen mug, put the little piece of chocolate on my pillow that's on the blow up mattress.....
'CAUSE Momma, IMMA COMIN' HOME!!!!

Lisa DeFlamingos: 6 Days to Go

Thanks to my sister AND my mother, I bring you a typical family conversation.

Lisa DeFlamingos: 6 Days to Go: oops.  I forgot to do my blog last night.  To my avid readers I would like to give you my sincere apologies.  To make up for it, I will give...

The Semester is Over, The Semester is Over!!!

Let your regularly scheduled programming continue.  But first, a word from our sponsor....

Test Drive

Okay.  First, you know it's been a long time since your last run when you've forgotten your login to your Garmin Connect account and your watch hasn't been updated since Daylight Savings Time.

Today I was tasked to take myself out for a test drive and run 2 miles to see how it would go.  Well.  It went.  It's amazing how much fitness you can lose in 5-6 weeks!  My bones were creaking, my muscles were squeaking, my knees and hips were asking "but...why?" My lungs, well, my lungs were good until about 1.25 miles in.  I think I had forgotten how to breath during my hiatus, so it didn't help when the lungs got heavy.  A bit of a cough here and there, but no fits thanks goodness.

It may not sound wonderful, but in a weird way, it was FANTASTIC!

You see, I was afraid that since I've taken so much time off, that I wouldn't make it back.  But last night, I couldn't fall asleep.  I was so excited about running today.  So excited that I woke up at 4:30 am, a half hour before the alarm was to begin it's daily buzz.  My old routine felt like an old friend; welcoming, familiar, comfortable.  I forgot how much I liked watching the world wake up and knowing that I did something good for myself.

It'll be slow going, but at least I'll be going.  One day at a time and I will be thankful for it!

This has got to stop...

This incessant eating.  It must end.  And what is scary is that I'm stuffing my face with whatever edible thing I can find.  It's no particular craving.  I'm not particularly hungry.  And what's even scarier?  I'm not walking or lifting weights; I'm not cycling, swimming or running (sadly).  I'm sitting on my arse in front of stupid (but I love them) television shows and LOADING MY FREAKING FACE LIKE A CHIPMUNK WITH ITS CHEEKS PUFFED OUT.

It's time to take a step back and evaluate.  I need to figure out why I'm doing this to myself.  It's not like it makes me feel good.  It makes me feel the complete opposite.  I feel like I've let myself down.  And the guilt...don't forget about the guilt.  But this I pledge to you.  I will NOT go back to that size 18 pant.  I will NOT let myself be tempted by the temporary euphoria food gives me; it's not real.  What is real is how good I felt when I was active and eating healthy; how confident I was and how I felt I could take on the world.

Tomorrow is December 1.  Tomorrow is a new day and a new month.  Tomorrow I will fight to get myself back.  This I pledge:

• food logs will resume
• workouts will resume
• lots of water will be drunk
• meals will be cooked at home
• no junk food will enter the threshold
• I will forego the Christmas cookie bake-a-thon
• I will remain honest about my progress
• I will hold myself accountable
• I will succeed.

"Gobble, Gobble, Gobble, Gobble"

Thanksgiving.  What a wonderful holiday!  It is a day we all should take a moment and reflect on our good fortunes and give thanks for all we have been given.  It is sad however, that with many of the other holidays we celebrate, the true meaning gets a little lost.  Instead of a day of thanks, it has become a day when gluttony runs rampant and is accepted.  And we all participate.  Present company included.  And for those of us trying to trim down, eat healthy and/ or meet our "goal weight"... resistance is futile. The battle is lost before it even begins.  We say to ourselves...it's just one day.  What can one day hurt?  But one day turns into leftovers the next day, and before you know it, we are fully immersed into our food addiction again.

I had a wonderful day with my husband's family.  Lots of laughs, some tears (Granny always seems to make us cry when giving the Blessing), wonderful food.  Oh my goodness, the food.

(note:  I don't think it's a coincidence that turkeys say "gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble."  It's like they are telling us what to do.  And we listen.  We listen to the turkeys...)

After our first round of vittles around 1:00 pm and a cup of coffee, we recover and what do we do?  WE KEEP EATING!  Even though there is no room left in our little tummies, we keep stuffing it in.  And then, what do we do?  WE EAT AGAIN!  Golly.  Why on earth do we do this to ourselves?  Yes, it tastes oh so good...but it makes us feel oh so sick.  Then, the only "thanks" we are offering is "thanks" no one vomited on the dining room table (I know, gross, but you know I'm telling the truth!).

And then we have what I call "The Day After Guilt."  You know what I mean.  Let's just call it what it was...we just had a one night stand with food.  You ask yourself, "OMG, what did I do?"

What did you do?  You listened to the turkeys....

Can't run if you can't breathe....

appointment with the Doc this afternoon.  Fingers crossed that Frank can fix it.

Trim the Fat

When I was driving into work a morning or so ago, I had a revelation.

Autumn has always been my favorite time of year.  Cool, crisp days.  Cinnamon donuts with apple cider.  And the changing leaves.  Oh the leaves!  As deep as fire and as bright as the sun.  The leaves just might be my favorite thing about autumn.  So why haven't I seen them this year?  Yes, I noticed they were changing, but I failed to actually SEE it.  How can that happen?

I tell you how.  I've been so wrapped up in life that I've forgotten to Do Life.  Sometimes you just need to take a step back and re-evaluate what it is you actually want....and trim the fat!  I had so much going on, I think I've lost track of what it was I really want and what I need to do to get there.

I was taking a water cardio and a water jogging class to help me get used to the water before I started to learn how to swim.  Then I started swimming lessons.  So, I've been trying to do both with limited time and limited pool access; and getting so overwhelmed that I was stressing myself out so much I wouldn't do either.  I was ashamed that I always had to tell my swimming instructor that I haven't been able to practice the drills she gave me.  So, I stepped back and looked at what I was really trying to accomplish.  I want to swim.  I won't get better if I can't invest the time or focus.  So, I made a decision. I dropped the water classes.  Hopefully this will allow me to get the practice time in I need in the limited time frame I'm allowed.  We'll see, but I already feel better.

This past week was registration for next semester's classes.  I registered for 3 classes, putting me in Charlotte at 3:30-9:15 pm on Tuesdays, 6:30-9:15 on Wednesday and 3:30-4:45 on Thursday.  Plus working, plus running/training, plus....there are a lot of pluses!  This morning I looked at the schedule.  And it's like I saw it for the first time.  And then I said...."Am I sane?  Do you realize what you're about to do to yourself?"  I logged into the registration site and said, "goodbye Tuesday/Thursday 3:30 class!"
Note:  keep your fingers crossed that it's offered again at a reasonable time slot in the future....I really wanted to take that class...

There are definitely things that suck that you need to suffer through.  But there is a lot going on in my life that may not be a necessary hell.  You can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be taking a good look at what else I can trim, and not just from my waist line!

TTFN!

Struggling

It's amazing, really.  I've seen myself change, improve, over the course of only a few months.  I can't express how pleased I am with my own progress. I became stronger, trimmer, faster......happier.  And now, I have to admit to you all that I have not continued with my pursuit of health and happiness.  My journey of re-discovery has come to a screeching halt.

About 3 weeks ago, I came down with a simple head cold.  No bother, I thought.  I'll be better in a few days.  The following week, it got worse and to add to it, I was on vacation.  Those are two big strikes against what little motivation I had.  This week...week #3, I'm still sitting on my butt.  So, what's my problem?

I'm struggling.  I'm struggling to get back into it.  I'm struggling to find joy in anything, let alone getting up at 5am for a strength workout or a speed run.  I'm struggling.  I'm scared.  I don't want to revert back to who I was, because I was really beginning to like, no, love, who I was becoming.

So how.  How do I find it in me?  How do I start back?

Scary times, folks.  Scary times.

Today.....

we swam.  Kinda.

If by swimming I mean ingesting gallons of chlorinated water, gasping and spitting?  Yup, we swam.

Maybe I should have flexed.

It's Always Worth It

You know those runs where everything just goes right?  Where you're breathing easy, keeping a decent pace feeling you can just go on forever?  Yea?  Well, tonight wasn't one of those...

Today I was to do a short 4 miles, and in those 4 miles, run 3 hills all out.  Well, those that have run the cross country trails at Davidson College know that there are 3 (+ a few more) hills right at the beginning, and then it levels out into a nice figure eight type loop where you can repeat for as long as you want before you make the trek back.  My game plan was to get these 3 hills all out and out of the way so I could settle into a nice pace for the remaining 3 miles.  Well.  I ran the hills all out and out of the way, but I never did settle.

I was never able to catch my breath, foaming at the mouth and gasping for air!  Well, there was no actual foam, but I did have to spit.  I couldn't really enjoy the scenery

this was the view AFTER the hills of hell.

goats "hired" to keep the kudzu under control

or watch the goats watch me pass by.  I was cold, I was tired, my ears hurt from the wind and I couldn't catch my breath.

At about at mile 2.5, I wanted to stop.  Who would it hurt?  Who would know?  The answer?  Me.  Then I asked myself. "How in the hell are you going to get through 13.1 miles in April, when you can't get through 4 miles today?"  And then I answered.  "You're going to get through 13.1 because you are going to get through these 4 today."  

So, I put on my big girl panties, picked up the pace and finished my 4.  No more, no less, and I got the hell out of Dodge.  So.  Here I am, alive to run another day.  I made it through.  It's not always easy, but rest assured that it is ALWAYS worth it.  

What makes it worth it?  Today, it was a hot shower, jambalaya and my winnie pooh pajamas.  

Good night Friends.  See you out in the trenches!

TTFN

Well, can't turn back now....

It pays to get out of your comfort zone...

I had already planned on a 6.5 run this  morning.  I had already planned on doing it around 7:00am'ish.  What I didn't plan on was the opportunity to take a step out of my comfort zone.

People, when you get down to it, I'm a shy person and it takes a lot for me to go meet people I don't know.  Well, I saw a post on a local running group's Facebook page.  Normally I see posts like..."heading out for 10 mile run at a 8:30 pace" or "20 mile at marathon pace" or "doing any easy 6.....at the speed of sound".  These posts are intimidating!  These people are scary! Not them personally of course.  I'm sure they are lovely people, and reading their banter always makes me laugh and brightens my day. But let's face it.  I'm not near that capablity.  I don't have the distance and I don't come CLOSE to having the speed.  So...I take myself out and go at my own penguin pace.  Except today. 

Yesterday I saw a post saying "6-8 at an easy pace".  Well normally, their easy is my race pace times a gazillion.  And then I saw "10:00 or slower".  DING DING DING DING  I thought to myself, "self, you should throw caution to the wind, and give it a go."  So, though I worried about keeping up and talking coherently while I ran and my normal meet-new-people-anxiety, I went.  And I'm so glad I did.

We had a fabulous run.  It was a gorgeous day, and this may have been the fastest 6.5 I've ever run.  Not in actual time, but the companionship and the conversation made it fly!  Then, post run, we sat outside with a cup of java in front of the local coffee shop on a very busy Main St. It was nice to meet you, my new friends!  I hope we get to do it again.  Good times!!

So, to those reading.  Don't be afraid to move outside your comfort zone every once in awhile.  Sometimes it works out much better than you expect!

TTFN

Time to hop back on...

So folks, since I believe in nothing but honesty, I will tell you I had a rough time of it last week.  I took a nosedive off the nutrition wagon.  Mid-terms just about did me in this semester.  At first I thought I was handling it very well, I wasn't freaking out one bit.  But then I looked down and realized I was on my third bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch...and didn't stop there.

But that was last week.  Today is Monday and you know what I say about Mondays.  With every Monday is a fresh beginning!  So, to help myself get back on the wagon, I pledge the following:

• resume my food log 
• plan out my meals and go grocery shopping
• increase my water intake instead of alcohol intake
• keep the splurges to once in the evenings and not once at every meal
• keep to my workout schedule.  
• take my vitamins every day 
• to honor this pledge until Finals, at which time I reserve the right to take back everything I just said.  (smiles)

I'll let you know how it goes....

TTFN!

Time flies...

Wait...wasn't it just August?

Holy cow how time is flying.  I can't believe it is already October.  I can't  believe it's already mid-terms at school.  I can't believe it's only 50F outside and the leaves are starting to turn.  I can't believe it's almost time for our annual fall beach trip.  I can't believe Christmas is only two months away.  As each day's twenty-four hours goes by faster than the day before, it's time to take stock of what we've done before we lose track of what we've accomplished.  Get out a  pen and paper and write down the littlest of victories and the biggest of goals you've achieved in the last two months.  I'll do mine here, in no particular order:

1. I recovered from my injury and started back to the gym.
2. I paid my fall semester tuition.
3. I started my running back at a half mile and increased my mileage to 6.2 in 3 weeks.
4. I ran my first 10K at a pace faster than my last 5K.
5. I started to learn how to swim.
6. I can throw caution to the wind and wear a bathing suit in semi-public.
7. I quit smoking.  (2 months ago as of October 4)
8. I've been able to drink 80oz of water in one day.
9. I've been able to go tinkle 80 times in one day (yes, slight exaggeration, but not much of one)
10. I haven't had a piece of pizza.
11. I survived mid-terms.

I think that's about it.  Not a bad two months!  I think you'll find that you'll be pleased with your results too.  Just remember, it's not always about the big things.  You need to take pride in the little things too, 'cause boy do they add up!

Time to hit the hay.  I've got a strength workout in the morning and I'm going to REALLY TRY to do my run in the afternoon.  I have a hill workout planned, and it's way to dark to do it in the morning.  Cross your fingers for me.  There is a reason I do my workouts in the morning...once that clock strikes 5:00 p.m., it's quittin' time!

TTFN!!

Am I okay with being slow?

I was out on a 5mi run one lovely morning.  The temps were not scorching, humidity was not choking and the sun was not quite that high in the sky.  I felt fantastic!  I felt like I was flying, barely touching the ground with each stride.  I remember thinking to myself, "My gosh I'm going so fast!"  At that same moment, I was passed by two people.  I couldn't believe it!  Really?  If I'm flying, they must be launching into orbit!  And then...I looked at my watch and it revealed to me the Turtle pace I was actually going.  But the Turtle beats the Hare, right?

A slow pace just feels good.  It feels like I can go on forever.  And when I'm done?  I have a high that carries me all day long.  All is right with the world!  But, there is one small problem.

I don't like to be passed, and I don't like to lose.  So, how do I reconcile this feel-good feeling with the nice and easy pace with this competitiveness I seemed to have developed?  What if I am a one-paced wonder?  Can I be okay with that?

In all honesty, I have not done any kind of speed work and I've made all my runs this month easy runs just to recover and get the mileage in before last week's 10K.  So can I get faster?  It's possible.  People say that intervals work wonders.  Kelly has me starting speed work on Monday, so we'll see if the legend is true.  For now...i'm off for an easy 5m.  It's precipitating today, so it looks like I am treadmill bound today.  Yes, I could brave the elements...but I'm a weenie baby when it comes to wet stuff falling from the sky.

TTFN!

Run for Green 2011 - Race Recap

Saturday, September 17, marked a busy day in Davidson, North Carolina.  Not only was it Green Day, where the Davidson Lands Conservancy brings together vendors and booths that highlight sustainable practices on the Town Green AND featured a release of a red shouldered hawk from the Carolina Raptor Center; it was also the Run for Green - 5K, 10K and Half Marathon.  Over 650 runners on a beautiful morning in the Piedmont.  What a great way to start the day!

Yours truly ran the 10K.  6.2 miles.  This was my first attempt at that distance and my first race since my stress fracture.  It was odd.  I wasn't really all that nervous.  I ran the route the previous week, so I knew I could make the distance.  I think that was a huge confidence booster right there.  It was a little chilly, around 52F, and I was questioning the no-sleeve shirt I had on.  I stuck with it though, just kept my jacket on until the last possible moment!

You could feel the electricity in the air.  Everyone was chomping at the bit....ready to get on with it!  You see, we were all chasing something; a place in the top 3, winning an age group, chasing a PR, running down a nemesis or as one of my friend's boyfriend enlightened ...sometimes girls in skirts makes boys run faster ;-)  Regardless...it was time to go!  On your mark, set........BANG (or whistle in this case)

So, my running pal, Ellen, and I ran.  Fast at first, with everyone else down the quick hill to the 1st greenway, and then we steadied the pace a bit.  Faster pace for me, slower for her ;-) The first two miles went by like a blink of an eye.  Easy, fun...golly I felt great!  Some slight inclines here and there, but nothing dramatic.  We then got a nice big downhill to catch our breath...unfortunately, that nice big downhill will end up being the uphill from hell around the 4.5mile mark.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We started the 2nd greenway, and I think we both were feeling pretty good.  Every once in awhile I'd catch a peak at our pace.  Sometimes I saw 9:30, sometimes 8:30...there may or may not have been a 7:15 in there for a split second, but that didn't last long!  Passing mile 4, I began thinking that I should slow down or I wasn't going to make it to the end.  Around 4.5 or so, we met Patrick Johnston Lane (aka: uphill from hell) head on.  Or for me, it was head down and truck my big 'ol butt up it like the Little Engine That Could.  And I did!  Maybe I could have walked it faster, but I wanted to RUN the whole distance.  It was my own personal goal!

Now, from here on in, it seems there is nothing but inclines until the finish line.  And I'm not really making this stuff up.  Good news?  I only had one "omigosh-I'm-gonna-die" moment and that was with only like .75 to go.  At around .5-.25, I can't help but speed up.  I mean...that's what I do.  My legs just go faster. I don't tell them too.  I think they just want to be done, so they go as fast as they can go.  So they did.  I even passed someone going UP hill.
So a public apology:

 I'm sorry gentleman in black, I don't know what happened, I just started going fast.  It was a little rude of me, especially since I was behind you for pretty much the whole race.  But, I guess it is a race, and you were between me, the finish line and free beer.  Thanks for understanding. -H

Here are some pictures coming in for the finish, which came to be 1:02:11 at a 10:01mile pace.  Not fast compared to the rest of the field, but a PR for me, and better than my last 5K pace of 10:35. I'd like to take this moment to direct you to check out my leg muscles.  I now have some!  Awesome.

All in all?  A fantastic day!  Probably one of my best runs.  Ever.  And what makes it even better?
You guessed it....free beer.  Cheers!

It's almost tomorrow, already?

Rewind to July 16, 2011.  I believe I was in San Francisco at the Google Geo Summit, and I was stylin' and profilin' looking pretty sexy with my peg leg.  I was 2-3 weeks with my boot, looking forward to when I could walk without sounding like a creeper in a B horror flick.

On July 26 and still a creeper, I met with Kelly to go over my "come-back" plan.  "Kelly, I'm supposed to run a 10K in September, but I don't know how realistic that is."  With neither of us really knowing, there it was on my calendar for September 17.  5K or 10K.  On August 1st, I ditched the peg leg and started my way back to the gym, but according to Frank (the doc), still no running for 3-4 more weeks.  September 17 seemed far away, yet it was around the corner.

On August 21, I hit the track.  Now, 4 weeks and 38.5 slow miles later, it's almost tomorrow, September 17.

Tomorrow.  September 17.  Run for Green.  Time to get excited!

Tomorrow.  It's you and me, Mr. Road. 7:40 a.m.  I got your 6.2m.  You can try to stop me, but I'm coming after you and you're goin' down.

Dear Dad,

I haven't written or spoke to you in awhile.  And to be honest, I don't think about you as much as I used to.  I don't know why.  I guess I've just been busy with life?  I do miss you though.  You'd be 68 today...

I really don't like this date.  9/11/1991.  9/11/2001.  It's 5:30 p.m.  on 9/11/2011 and so far all's quiet and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  Dad...do you think maybe you could talk to the Big Guy Upstairs and ask him to make something absolutely wonderful and happy happen on this date?  Something that can erase all the sad?

Anyway.  I just wanted to write and say hi.  I love you and miss you.  Maybe you can visit me sometime when I'm sleeping...I could really use a hug.

Love you lots,
Your Pigwart

Running as an Addiction

Hello.  I'm Hope, and I have an addictive personality.

I'm thankful and lucky that this has not led me down destructive pathways as it has for many, but I am an addict nonetheless.  Some of the addictions I've overcome border on trivial and idiotic, like Diet Coke and sugar; heck...I'm addicted to chapstick for heaven's sake.  True story.  If that little tube of lovliness is not in my pocket, and I need my fix...my hands get sweaty, my heart beats faster...I can't concentrate, I'm on high alert and get extremely aggitated.  But one of my addictions had become a bit too serious and I had to become a quitter.  As of 11:00 a.m. Tuesday, September 6, 2011, I have been four weeks smoke free.  (YAY!!!)

But I wonder.....have I again substituted one addiction for another?  Have I replaced one high for another?  Is running an addiction?

Easy answer, and I think most will agree, is yes.  Now, we know I'm not scientifically gifted, but let's think about it.  After we run for a significant period of time, chemicals are released in our body and when we're done, we experience a feeling of sheer invincibility, euphoria...it might be different for each person, but I'm confident in saying that this is the endorphin rush or "runner's high" that people speak so fondly of.  It's truly a remarkable rush.  It's...well, it's addicting.  We all know it.  Now, we may not talk about it, but we know it.  Even Nike picked up on it and incorporated it into a (brilliant) marketing tool:  http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/if-running-addiction-nike-wants-be-your-dealer-133617

So now I ask....is running a healthy addiction?  Most wouldn't think twice about saying "well of course it is!" But let's look at it a little deeper.  This rush.  It makes us do things we normally wouldn't do.  I think my mother would agree with me that no way in hell would I wake up a 5:00 in the morning to exercise.  But guess what?  5:00 and I'm up....I need my fix.  This rush.  It makes us keep coming back, no matter what.  I mean we push ourselves constantly, to run further to run faster.  We become obsessed with PRs and splits.  And then we push harder, punishing our bodies until we injure ourselves.  And then we are forced to stop.  Withdrawal symptoms set in; irritability, lack of focus, depression.  We crave the rush so badly that we may ignore the fact we are hurt, ignore the pain, and in the end just hurting ourselves more.

This is actually a pretty interesting theory I've got going on here and I could probably keep writing on and on.  But, I'll spare you!   I guess i just want all my friends to be careful.  Run.  Always run. Please do! But always be mindful that any addiction, no matter how "healthy" you think it can be, can also be as destructive.

Now...I'm off to run my 5.5m  ;-)

TTFN!

So...I tried on a pair of old pants last night,

and they fit.  :-)

Food for Thought

As my mother would be happy to tell you, I'm not really a cook.  But, sometimes I come across some things that even I can make! Now surely there are other kitchen challenged folk out there, much like me, eager to travel down their path to healthy living and healthy eating.  Those of us with the best of intentions, but not always the best ideas.... So, I thought I'd give Food for Thought a spin.  My intention is to offer things I find, some tricks I come across and maybe some great substitutions you can make.  Now.  I am in NO WAY an authority..I am the Jelly Belly Jelly Bean Queen after all, but I'm trying to learn.  So...maybe we can learn together?  Let's give it a whirl!

Salsa Chicken with Spanish Rice was on the menu last night.  After a long day at work, school or errand day, you can't go wrong with this, honestly.  It's easy to put together and even harder to screw up.  My kind of meal!  Now, I prep all my stuff first, like the chopping and the slicing and the portioning and the seasoning and the...well you get it.  So get your prep done, throw it in the oven and simmer it on the stove!  We've got two recipes we're about to cover, but you can do them simultaneously.

Salsa Chicken
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast        1 cup salsa
4 tsps (or so) taco seasoning mix           1 cup (or so) shredded cheese
2 Tbsp sour cream (optional)

Preheat oven to 375 F.  Place chicken breasts in a lightly greased baking dish.  Sprinkle taco seasoning on both sides of chicken breasts and pour salsa all over it.  Bake at 375 F for 25 to 35 minutes, or until chicken is tender and juices run clear.  Sprinkle chicken evenly with cheese, and continue baking for an additional 3-5 minutes, or until cheese is melted and bubbly.  Top with sour cream if you want.

hope's notes:  I portion out 4 oz raw chicken before baking. I make my own taco seasoning (lower in sodium!) and use low/reduced fat cheddar cheese and usually NOT the whole cup (it's a lot when you think about it!) and skip the sour cream (use fat free if you need it!).  Recipe source:  allrecipes.com I think.

Spanish Rice
2 Tbsp vegetable oil                       1 cup uncooked white rice
1 medium onion, chopped              1/2 green bell pepper, chopped
2 cups water (or chicken broth)     1 (10oz) can diced tomatoes & green chilies
2 tsps chili powder                        1 tsp salt

In a deep skillet over medium heat add vegetable oil.  Add rice, onion and green bell pepper.  Saute until the rice is browned and the onions are tender.  Stir in water (or broth) and tomatoes and green chilies.  Season with chili powder and salt.  Cover and simmer for 30 minutes or until the rice is cooked and the liquid is absorbed.  Makes 4 servings.

hope's notes: I substitute brown rice.  For this, you'll probably need to increase the liquid and simmer longer than 30 minutes.  I haven't mastered it yet, so if you come up with a good combo of liquid and time, let me know!  Also, I go the extra virgin olive oil route and use water, but if you choose to use broth make sure you go the low sodium route.  Recipe source:  blogchef.net

Add a nice green salad with fresh veggies and a balsamic vinaigrette, and viola!

For the next Food for Thought entry, I'll try to take pictures :-)

TTFN!

Progress Update

So.  Today marks the third week back to running after that pesky little injury.  I had a nice 4 miler on Saturday morning.  North Carolina is still a little muggy, but it was a pretty day in the Piedmont.  I'm not one for personal photo ops, but I recognize that they add a little somethin' somethin' (and I'm secretly beginning to like it but don't tell anyone).  So I may look it, but I'm really not in pain.  My hand was all sweaty and almost dropped my phone.

Today?  I'm up to 4.5 this morning! (and the crowds roar with applause and cheers).  The goal?  To run this dag nabit 10K next Saturday slow, steady, healthy and happy.  Feeling pretty good people, feeling pretty good!

Now...it's possible that I may have picked up (I hope) a few readers over from the Do Lifers (LOVE THEM) on Facebook.  Which would really help since I feel like I'm talking to myself all the time....

So, I'd like to take a moment to say: Welcome, laugh, tell me I'm dork, laugh more, and let us all Do Life together...because THAT my friends, is what it's about, don't you think?

Today I leave you with my Top 5 random thoughts (in no particular order)

1. Tornado warnings are interesting on a college campus.
2. Do those Tempur-Pedic pillows really help? 
3. Stability balls are still dangerous.
4. Did you know that you can make clothes out of thread recycled from plastic bottles?  
5. I love Jelly Belly Jelly Beans.  (citrus mix to be 100% exact in case you wanted to send some)

TTFN!

My Feet Had Wings...If Only My Lungs Had Air...

Today was my first day running after that stupid little fracture.  What a beautiful morning it was.  I was out of bed and dressed at 7:30, kissed the hubby goodbye and out the door I went.  Destination:  The track at Richardson Stadium at Davidson College.

It was suprisingly busy for a Sunday morning.  I thought I'd have the whole track to myself, which was my intention in case I had a nervous breakdown or something.  Anyway, two 'ol Gents were chatting away as they walked lap after lap, another woman all in white walked like the demon was chasing her and another woman ran a lap and would then do stairs, and repeat. Alot.  I had experienced admiration in between thoughts that she was  insane.  But I digress. 

I laced up my snazzy new shoes, played with my watch to get all the components to work and the sun began to shine.  Very bright.

 And then I was off!  I can't say I ran like the wind.  In fact, if I had to compare, it was more like the doldrums.  The pace was slow (very), but the legs felt strong and the foot/toe hung in there.  I mean it's still attached so that's good.  Today's workout was to be .5 - 1 mile. The legs could go all day; but my lungs decided that they were done after .75.  I hung in there for the mile though.  I didn't break any PRs or the sound barrier or anything, but I'm a happy girl :-)

TTFN! 

While I was at the store...

buying my snazzy new running shoes, I started eavesdropping on a family's discussion:

little boy:  Daddy, Daddy....
mother:  Honey, how about these shoes.  They look like they may give you  more support.
little boy:  Daddy, Daddy....
father:  Oooh.  Those look much better than what I'm wearing right now. And they...
little boy:  DADDY!!!
father:  Oh my gosh, what!?
little boy:  Daddy.  You really need to get those orange ones over there.  Orange makes you fast and you will win all your races.

I agree little man, I agree.  Now if only I can find some sneakers with flames on them....

Progress....

First, I'd like to send a big shout-out to my big sister, Lisa DeFlamingos!  Welcome to the blogging world!  Follow her.  She's hysterical, mindful and a whole bunch of loveable :-)

And now, an update on progress.  I'm two weeks in to my new routine and things are slowly getting better....meaning I can walk and turn over in bed without  my muscles screaming at me.  So, I'm putting that in the "win" column.  I have one more week of nothing but cross training and then we start running .  I'd like to think I'm starting to feel stronger, but then again, it has been only two weeks...how much stronger can I be?  Anyway, it makes me feel better, so i'll keep thinking it .

Today, I'll close out with:

The Top 5 Things I'm Learning
1)  Stability balls are dangerous.
2)  Resistance bands are evil.
3)  4oz of cooked chicken is NOT the same as 4oz of uncooked chicken.
4)  Chocolate Vitamuffins are a product sent from heaven.
5)  Summers go by faster every year.

TTFN!

Getting Back on Track

So, a bit has happened in the past few weeks.  The hubby and I took off to the west coast.  A couple nights in San Francisco, trekked up north to a creepy town called Arcata and from there drove close to the Oregon border. Then back south to Mountain View and made some great Pano and Google friends.  A whirlwind trip to say the least...AND...I did it all in my boot.  Anyway, if you'd like to see some pictures of where our adventures were, you're welcome to take a look!  http://www.panoramio.com/user/hopeamber.

I have been sans boot for two weeks now.  The first week I had to reteach myself how to walk.  This past week started a new workout schedule.  I've decided to get some help and enlisted the expertise of triathlete, Kelly Fillnow from Upgrade Lifestyle.  Doctor's orders still insist on no running for two more weeks, but that doesn't mean Kelly is taking it easy on me ;-)  I'll be honest, it feels good to have sore muscles again!  The foot is a little sore and that has me a little nervous, but I'm still "recovering", so we'll see how it goes.

The 5 things I'm most battling are:
1)  getting up early in mornings again.
2)  core exercises.  I still don't have any core, and if I don't have it, how the hell can she expect me to do some of these dang exercises!
3)  avoiding my most favorite foods.  Carbs and Chocolate.
4)  drumming up the courage to do exercises that look really dorky in front of people.
5)  I still don't want to clean my house.  Can I just throw EVERYTHING out and start over?  I need another building just to store all this crap....

TTFN!
(or as Tigger would say, "Ta ta for now!")

Top 5 Good Things About my Peg Leg

1. one leg is mosquito bite free.
2. I get to walk almost literally to the beat of my own drum.
3. excuse to go to bed earlier (since that is the only acceptable time to be sans boot!).
4. something about me is a size small.
5. early aircraft boarding for those "that need assistance or a little extra time"...most of the time.

2 down, 2 to go

2 weeks in the boot, and I think I'm getting the hang of things.  I won't deny I've been out of sorts, but I've come to terms with it.

On one of my low days, I picked up my Runner's World that came in the mail hoping it might pull me out of my funk.  This edition did a feature on runners who were also cancer survivors.  I say it like that because they didn't want to be defined by their disease.  They are runners who overcame hellish obstacles.  And here I am, complaining about a boot and a little stress fracture.  It was at that moment I made a decision.  Stop complaining!

So, I'm taking this In-between to rest, be a little lazy, eat some chocolate and indulge in some guilty pleasures.  I can do this because I know I'll get back on the road.  I wasn't so sure I would, and I think that is where most of my anxiety has been coming from.  But, I've found myself day dreaming, making plans...BIG plans.  And that is when I realized I don't have to worry anymore. 

I'll make it back. 

It'll be a long road, but I've got BIG plans.  Eager to get started! 

But for now.........where's my jelly beans?  

And the countdown begins

Finally got an official diagnosis.  Turns out it was a stress fracture.  I've been in a boot for the past week....only three more to go.

Now what?  Well, I've been taking count of the things that we take for granted.
1)  walking normal.
2)  not sounding like a creepy murderer with a peg leg in a horror flick.
3)  moving our feet up and down at the ankle joint.
4) wearing pants so I don't have to shave my legs.
5) walking barefoot.
6) running.

I miss it.  I really do.  I'm scared that when I'm healed, that I'll do it again.  Which makes me wonder if I shouldn't be exercising/running under some kind of supervision, be it a group or a trainer, someone to notice things that I don't know enough to notice yet.

Regardless, I'm still looking ahead, hoping I can train for the 10K in September.  Hoping that I have it in me to get up off my butt again.  I did it once, can I do it again?  Do I have the will and the strength?  It's so easy to fall back into bad habits, which I'm already starting to do.  Time will tell, I guess.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

The Waiting Game.....

Weeks have passed and I'm still sitting on the sidelines.  Everywhere I look, people are running.  If I can't get moving soon, I might punch someone.  I'm not trying to be Ms. Negativity or anything, but DANG IT.

Dr. Frank ordered another image, a nuclear scan.  It better show something that they can fix, or Dr. Frank is the biggest poopyhead EVER.

Something has got to happen soon.  My food choices gravitate to pasta and jelly beans, I can't wake up in the morning and I'm beginning to be a bit hard to live with.  So, for the sake of my sanity and the sanity of those I love....PLEASE DR. FRANK, SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!

Phew!

See?  I told you Frank was wrong!  Results came back and he found nothing...nada...nill.  I am fracture free!

He had my heart beating a bit faster, I won't lie.  So what a relief.  Now, I just need to stay chill for seven more days.  I'll take seven over fourteen or twenty-one, that's for dang sure.  I definitely need to find some things to do in the meantime though.  I went and did weights this morning for the first time in a week, and let me tell you what....getting up that early was rough.  I need to get back in my normal routine.  That is fo sho!

Staying active and staying positive (and maybe a little ibuprofren) is the key.  I've been feeling a bit down this past week and it's wearing on me.  Emotionally and physically.  But, this good news put a spring in my step...well, with the right foot anyway.

So, for now, I'll be stuck inside the gym but at least I'll be doing something and soon, my training will start.  Thank goodness!

He said the *F* word...

Fracture.  Actually...POSSIBLY a fracture.  But as soon as I heard the *f* word, all the bells and sirens started going off and it stopped when I said "DUDE.  You have GOT to be kidding me."  Yes.  I said that to my doctor.  He just shrugged his shoulders, said he was sorry, sent me off for some xrays and went on his merry way with me saying "But.....but....but...." until the door closed.  Now, I don't blame Frank.  I mean I can't really talk him out of the restrictions he's put me on.  If I were him, I would have ran out the door to escape the eye darts I was giving him.

So.  Here I am.  Day 6 of "rest" and I'm going freaking bananas and waiting for the results.  Now, I like Frank.  Frank is cool.  But Frank, I think you are wrong in your diagnosis.  We shall see, Frank, we shall see.

Maybe we should start taking bets.  Make it a little interesting.    C'mon...mama needs a new pair of shoes!

Sidelined.

I'm writing to you today more out of frustration than anything.  I'm afraid my worst nightmare is coming true.  Injury.

It all started this past Monday or so.  A slight soreness in my foot, more like the ball of my foot.  It was a little ouchy, but it seemed minor so I kept going.  I ran my normal routine that morning, weights as usual on Tuesday and running on Wednesday.  Well, after Wednesday's run, I began to have trouble walking and it has steadily gotten worse.  I thought if I just chilled, took Friday off from activity that maybe it would get better and I thought it had.  Now today, I'm struggling.

I didn't feel like myself yesterday, I don't know why.  But, when I was eating breakfast this morning, trying to figure out what the heck I could do for some activity without doing any damage, I came up with nada.  Nothing.  And then I knew what was wrong with me yesterday.  I didn't do anything! This whole correlation between exercise and mood experts keep talking about...I think they're on to something. 

So, what am I battling today....fear, depression and let's be honest...just pure bitchiness.  Training starts Monday, but the way it's looking, I'll be heading to the doctor.  I'm scared that they'll find something that will put me on the sidelines which brings me to my ultimate fear...if I stop, will I start again?  I'm feeling sad, I feel like I want to DO something, but what can I do?  Hiking is out, walking is a struggle, the bike is out (pressure on the ball of my foot is like driving a nail in between my toes), the eliptical is out and I've already done strength training for the week.  Any more and my muscles will never talk to me again. So, what do I do?

Scary times for me, people.  Scary times.

Time flies.....

I happened to look at my Google calendar and almost had a panic attack. Just as soon as I got used to the In-between (and loving it!), this "10K Madness" training starts in five days. FIVE! Inconcievable. That means only one more run-whatever-the-heck-I-want-too day left! I am beginning to question this decision. Seriously, what in the world was I thinking?! Am I going to be able to handle this Fartlek thing? Can I really increase my speed and do I really want to? I'm kinda liking my turtle speed right now. Hill training? WTF. Am I sane?

Regardless of all the questions and hesitation I have right now, bottom line...I got myself into this, now I have to finish it. I've already put my money down and opened my mouth; and since I said I was going to do it, I have to follow through. I'll keep reminding myself this will bring me one step closer to running the Boilermaker in July 2012 with Mr. Cross Country Runner Extrodinarre, otherwise known as my nephew, Adam (and any other Dunlaps and relations that may want join in the torture fun).

While I still question my sanity, training starts with an easy 3 on Monday. The bright side? That's pretty much what we've been doing already, so that's a plus. Bad news, the following Monday is a 4 mile Fartlek. Once I figure out what that is, I'll let you know.

Wish me luck...and stay tuned. This might be entertaining...

The In-between

Merriam-Webster defines in-between "as a state or position that is in the middle between two other things."  I'm finding myself within a few in-betweens at the moment.  In-between school semesters, in-between a crazy-busy time at work, and I find myself in-between running goals.  You may have read, I participated in a 5K  race a week or so ago, not a great showing I might add.  My next running adventure will include a 10K race mid-September.  Of course I'm nervous, excited and eager to get our training in gear.  But, the training schedule doesn't start until June 1.  So, I find myself at a loss of what exactly I should be doing from now until then.

Yes, I need to work on speed.  Yes, I need to work on endurance and yes hills are still my nemesis.  But all these things will be included in our training plan, a plan created by someone who knows what there doing.  So.  What should I do? 

After that 5K, I discovered something.  I'm not comfortable.  Not at the pace I've been doing.  I kicked it up a notch before I was really ready to, and tried to maintain that.  The consequence has been misery.  Nothing felt right and getting 3 miles in was becoming more difficult and frustrating. 

This past week, I just ran.  I didn't worry about time and I really didn't worry about distance.  I simply ran.  Yesterday I did a route that I'd been struggling with, always walking right after a certain hill, feeling like I was going to stroke out.  But yesterday, I slowed down and I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to do the 3 miles without much problem or discomfort.  For today, I planned to do 4.  Midway through, instead of taking the right onto Crescent Rd toward home, I went left!  Inconceivable!  What is even crazier is that after I finished what turned out to be 4.9 miles and was walking back to my car, I realized that I had it in me go go further.  I don't know how much further mind you.  Just, further.

I can't tell you what an accomplishment and confidence booster these past two days have been for me.  So, I've realized what I will be doing in this in-between.  Get comfortable. That's my mission.  I can work on the other stuff in a month, and I'm not going to worry about it until then.

So if you find yourself in an in-between, just run.  

p.s.  if you happen to be driving and see me in the road, please don't run me over :-)

Race Recap - Town Day 5K for Davidson/Cornelius Day Care

Well, I've seen better days.  It all looked promising with my new running apparel, hot oatmeal and successful attachment of the timing contraption to my sneaker.  Pre-race was alright.  I was a little anxious....they posted a different course and there was a lot more people there than my first race, but still, all was well.  Kevin was happy taking pictures at the Farmer's Market and he promised to be at the finish line.  And then....we were off.

My friend, Eileen, was just ahead of me, and she slowed her pace so she could run with me for a bit.  1st mile was good.  Imagine my surprise when dude called out 9:35 at the mile mark....11 seconds off my previous pace!  I was in good shape to finish under 30.  Then WHAMMO.  The entire upper portion of my abdomen felt like it was under a vice-grip.  I couldn't breathe, I couldn't concentrate...holy stitch Batman.  I couldn't stretch it out, I couldn't breathe it out.  I had to do walk.  Then, when I started walking, ligaments started snapping over my ankle bone.  Not an uncommon thing, but not an easy thing to deal with.  It would have been okay if I could just relax my entire body, but the pain in my stomach combined with the pain in my ankles...all I could think of was "Well Shit.  How in the hell am I going to finish?"  I even dropped a few choice cuss words, and I apologize to all those around me...it was a family friendly event after all . 

Thankfully, Eileen stayed with me.  She didn't have too and I felt bad that she did, I mean, she gave up her own race because she was worried about me.  Don't get me wrong, I'm THANKFUL she did, because I don't know if I would have kept going if it was for her.  Then we made it to the around-3-mile-mark.  At that point you can hear the finish line.  Everything magically went away for a second.  It was like I felt my legs working for the first time in 30 minutes, and we crossed that wonderful red line...in 32:50-something.

Not the best morning.  And I was very disappointed I didn't beat my PR.  And then after some reflection, I've come to a conclusion and I said to myself "DUDE!  You're still a beginner.  You're still figuring this all out, and it takes longer than less than a year of running on a treadmill and 2 small races in the past 2 months.  Cut yourself some slack!"  So I've made up my mind to focus on the positive:
1)  I finished.  Looking back, I should be proud for finishing.  You see, my abdomen is still in pain.  Something must not have been right if it's still being ornery.  And I still finished. 
2)  A hug from a running mate always makes things better.
3)  I got a cool shirt.
4)  It was another experience that brings me another step closer to being a runner. 

So...when's the next one?

Race Day

So.  Today is the day.  My second "race".  I'm awake, so that's a plus.  I've got my oatmeal cooking, so I've got that going for me.  I have my running shorts on , sneakers laced and Body Glide ready to go.  Hubby is up and out of bed and his coffee awaits.  2 hours 'til the start...and how do I feel?

Excited and nervous, and a bit apprehensive.  I know I can finish, I proved that to myself a month ago.  So why am I so worried about it?  Is it all about beating my PR? Maybe. I can't quite put my finger on it.  Hopefully after a few more races under my belt, this uncertainty will go away, but until then I will just try to go with it, eat my oatmeal and be happy.

An hour until we leave.  Hopefully that's enough time to figure out this timing contraption I have to put on my sneaker.....

Will it be under 30 today?  We shall see....Town Day.  Be There!

Are you sure today isn't Monday?

...because it sure as hell felt like it!


It started with a 5am wake up call to get to the gym to get in my last workout before the race on Saturday. The monsoon was slacking off, but was still raining pretty good so we had to go inside and hit the treadmill. I was still a bit sore from yesterday's spinning deal (worst 35 minutes of my life), I mean whose idea is this cross training thing anyway. So, this morning was a battle just to get 3.1 in and it makes me doubt myself for a good personal performance on Saturday. I'm not going to sugar coat it. It felt like crap. Am I ready for Saturday?? Here's to hopin'.

Then, by 8:00 am I'm in the dentist chair with a screeching drill jammed in my mouth. After a river of drool and a numb mouth, I'm out the door with a temp crown that has be replaced in two weeks (I'm so excited that I get to do that all over again.). I try to make some consultations to find a way to save my plum tree that is about to take a nose dive in my back yard courteousy of the previously mentioned monsoon. I'm on my way to work, without coffee, without cigarettes (today is supposed to be my quit day). I stop at my go-to Exxon that has the best coffee in town....except for this morning. WORST CUP EVER! Now I'm stuck with this stop-smoking herbal tea concoction. Whatever.

I get to work. I log onto my machine like I do every day. Open Outlook and necessary software applications including Pandora. I must work with music. Silence drives me absolutely batty. Then whammo. Pandora....why aren't you working? After a losing battle with Pandora and Grooveshark...I remembered the 'ol stand by: Media Player, it's better than nothing.

So, after suffering through music I thought was cool ten years ago, the day didn't get too much better, but what are you going to do? Here's to a better tomorrow. Cheers!

Let's start a movement. Running Wear for Real People

Now I know I'm not a big girl, but I'm not tiny either.  But when I try on a pair of shorts, I don't need to be lookin' like I got a big 'ole bubble butt or have these things riding up my woohoo.  Seriously people.  Why don't you make some clothes that are more friendly for those of us who don't have the racer's body?  I'm not sure if they're doing it to try to motivate us?  If so...it ain't working.  How 'bout you design something for us that will make us WANT to put it on and run proud instead of stuff that makes us want to hide behind trees when a car passes by?

I think that's all I have to say about that.

Race Envy

So....I haven't posted in a while.  Okay.  A long while.  And a lot has happened since the last time I did.  You see, a couple friends and I started "running" about a year ago.  A minute at first, then three, then before you knew it, we were running for 10 minutes none stop.  Now, this may not seem like much but for me it was a victory.  I've never been able to run....unless something was chasing me.  I've made a lot of progress to say the least.

A month ago, I ran my first 5K race and I had a blast.  My numbers?  Well, I'm trying not to dwell on those, but if you must know, I finished in the middle of my age group with a time of around 30:06.  But, considering I've always run on a treadmill, afraid of the road, didn't walk and no one had to give me mouth-to-mouth, I say I kicked that race's ass!

Today, I had a strange thing happen to me today.  I got up early....on a Saturday, and ran 4 miles to get ready for my second race.  Outside.  With Hills.  For those that know me know that this is a personal best and I did it in 38 minutes.  I'm kind of proud of myself.  I came home and got ready to go on an easy hike with my husband and step-daughter.  On our way, we passed runners.  Lots of them.  Turns out there was a 5K race in town today.  I looked at them and I had a wave of different emotions run through me.

I wanted to join them!  WHAAA????  I know, crazy.  But I wanted to run.  Not to try to beat them, just to run with them.  I was jealous!  I was jealous I was in the car.  Then I was happy.  I was so happy seeing people do what I'm now actually learning to enjoy.  I can't quite describe it.  And then I said out loud "that's okay, my race is next weekend."  Kevin didn't quite know what I was talking about, but I did, and I felt content.

So, I think my blog will now become a journal of sorts on this adventure of my re-discovery.  I'm changing, inside and out and wondering where it all will lead.  Next weekend, I hope it will lead to a 29.59 5K ;-)