On Deck: Tri Latta

So, last month we did the Jetton Triathlon where I survived a washing machine.  This weekend we will be trying Tri Latta.  I just read the event details and here are my TOP 10 THOUGHTS, in no particular order, as we gear up for this 750 meter swim 17 mile bike 3.1 mile run.

1. Never again will I register for a race where I have to be in a park no later than 5:30 am and my swim wave doesn't start until FREAKING 7:00. okay. 6:58. same difference. 
2. Thelma and I will be safe on the bike course.  All the slow people are told to stay to the right.  The way I figure it, everyone will be passing me on the left where traffic is while my arse will be stuck to the right. :)
3. There should be a water noodle division.
4. Why would they assign me a black cap.  Who the hell is going to see me drowning if I'm in a freaking black swim cap????
5. I know we're athletes and all....but why can't parking be closer?  I really don't want to walk that far.
6. I should be allowed to swim with my swim buoy.
7. Can we come up with a different phrase for "body marking"?  It sounds so....permanent.  
8. One perk of finishing after all your friends is that they will all be ready to administer CPR when you cross the finish line.
9. If there are no radio-type devices allowed on the road courses, how can Siri yell at me when I get lost?
10. I'm never doing this again!

Party on, Garth.