Wednesday, November 30, 2011

This has got to stop...

This incessant eating.  It must end.  And what is scary is that I'm stuffing my face with whatever edible thing I can find.  It's no particular craving.  I'm not particularly hungry.  And what's even scarier?  I'm not walking or lifting weights; I'm not cycling, swimming or running (sadly).  I'm sitting on my arse in front of stupid (but I love them) television shows and LOADING MY FREAKING FACE LIKE A CHIPMUNK WITH ITS CHEEKS PUFFED OUT.

It's time to take a step back and evaluate.  I need to figure out why I'm doing this to myself.  It's not like it makes me feel good.  It makes me feel the complete opposite.  I feel like I've let myself down.  And the guilt...don't forget about the guilt.  But this I pledge to you.  I will NOT go back to that size 18 pant.  I will NOT let myself be tempted by the temporary euphoria food gives me; it's not real.  What is real is how good I felt when I was active and eating healthy; how confident I was and how I felt I could take on the world.

Tomorrow is December 1.  Tomorrow is a new day and a new month.  Tomorrow I will fight to get myself back.  This I pledge:

  • food logs will resume
  • workouts will resume
  • lots of water will be drunk
  • meals will be cooked at home
  • no junk food will enter the threshold
  • I will forego the Christmas cookie bake-a-thon
  • I will remain honest about my progress
  • I will hold myself accountable
  • I will succeed.

4 comments:

elpinkaminco said...

I know its not much consolation, but you are not alone. I finally went back to buying cottage cheese for breakfast and actually cans of soup for lunch! Its really not fair, these demons we were genetically given.....

Anonymous said...

hEY GIRL ! yOUR YOUNG YOU CAN DO IT ! i ALSO FIGHT THE FIGHT I have poleysistic overery so its evan harded I can starve and not loose I use Visalis shakes it works great 2 shakes and a sensable dinner and normal exersize! i TOO AM TRING TO GET Back on the band wagon...lol

Jacqueline said...

There are many of us in the same situation so don't feel like you are alone. I jump started my healthy eating (for the millionth time!) by posting my weight on my blog. I took a picture of the scale and I am committed to weighing in and posting every Wednesday. It scared the heck out of me to do it (and still does) but I am much more likely to "be good" because I know people are watching. It holds me accountable. If I gain one of these weeks, it is reality and I will survive it. We are all in this together! Hang in there and here's to a new start! You can do it!

Melanie said...

You and Me both. I feel out of control I hate it. I REALLY need to get back on track. so disappointed with myself. :(