Thursday, August 16, 2012

I have two words for you....

Therapeutic Massage

Sounds all roses and daffodils, doesn't it?

Let me enlighten you.  It's more like blood, sweat and tears with lotion that smells good.

And they fool you.  They fool you into thinking it's going to be all zen and stuff.  Your sweet little therapist introduces herself.  You tell her that your calves are a bit tight from running, and maybe your quads could use a quick once over as well.  She angelically nods her head with wisdom and experience.  She leads you into a nice dim room with relaxing music playing and a comfy looking table.  She takes a short leave of absence while you hop on the table under the fresh linens.  You think to yourself, "Self? This is going to be so relaxing and nice.  Don't drool on yourself while you doze off into Sandman Land."  She re-enters this haven of serenity with her jar of lotion at the ready.  And then it begins....the pain.

Oh my heavens above did it hurt like hell!  I had knots and bumps deep in my muscles from my toes to my butt.  And let me tell you what, you do NOT want this little angel to hop up on the table to get a better angle to work one of those suckers out.  My. Gosh.  I thought I was going to die!  I didn't know there were so many dang muscles and ligaments and things I can't even pronounce.  And it seemed that each one of mine had a twist here or a bump there.

It was torture.  Absolute torture.

....and I've already made my appointment to go back in month.

Oh dear J.B, you are an angel indeed.  You are our guardian angel helping us prevent the bad things from happening to our bodies after the hell we put them through.  And we thank you :)

And I PROMISE to roll like a champ!

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