Where there's a will, there's a way

Or how 'bout "if you want something bad enough...."

I used to hate both those phrases.  They always sounded so cliche.  But, if it is one thing I learned this past autumn while training for a marathon, working and taking classes simultaneously is that if you truly want something, if you are truly committed to seeing something through....

Where there's a will, there's a way.

I NEVER thought I would say that, let alone be living proof of it.  But here I am.  Proof.

Up at 4:15-4:30 a.m. nearly every morning.

Home 6:00-7:00 p.m. in the evening.

Some workouts in the morning when most were still in bed, fast asleep.

Some workouts in the evening when some were out having that after work cocktail.

Homework.  Housework. Grocery shopping, cooking, meal planning.....

eat, exercise, eat, work, class, eat, work, eat, swim, eat, housework, make dinner, eat, pack lunch and bag for the next day, dishes, eat, homework, eat, sleep....wash dry and repeat.
(yes...lots of eating...one of the perks of marathon training!)

Why?  Why on earth would I do this to myself?  Well friends, I didn't quite know why then and I still can't quite put my finger on it.  Because I wanted to be able to say I did it?  Because maybe it would bring my journey full circle?  I wanted to see if I could do it?  To make someone proud?  I wanted that damn sticker on my car?  To prove to those that didn't think I could, that I could and I would? To, for once, be able to say I was part of a "1%"?  Wouldn't it be something fantastic if I could pull all this off?  I don't know....  

One thing I do know is that from now on, I will be very careful how I use the words "I can't".  Because if it's one thing I've proven is that I can.  I can do most things I never thought I could, that I never thought possible.  I have met adversity.  I've met my share of obstacles, of that there is no doubt.  I've met pain.  I've met sorrow.  I've met disappointment.  I have seen anger and felt despair.  But I kept going.  I saw it through.   

I did it.  

Me.

No one else.

I gave myself gifts.  Yes, I'm healthy.  Yes, I'm fit.  But don't you see?   It is so much more than that. I have finally given myself the gift of confidence, the gift of pride and the gift of happiness.

There are of course days I have to remind myself of this.  Especially now when a new school semester and training cycle has started and I'm running around wound up tighter than a Timex (wait, everything is digital now, isn't it? so does this saying still make sense?)...

You want me to

• write a 20 page paper?
• run a 7:00 minute/mile?
• participate in class discussions (intelligently)?
• be at the gym at 5:30 for spin class?
• quit peanut butter?
• swim in a lake?

There is no way that I can do............hold on.  Yes I can.

except for the peanut butter.