Sidelined.

I'm writing to you today more out of frustration than anything.  I'm afraid my worst nightmare is coming true.  Injury.

It all started this past Monday or so.  A slight soreness in my foot, more like the ball of my foot.  It was a little ouchy, but it seemed minor so I kept going.  I ran my normal routine that morning, weights as usual on Tuesday and running on Wednesday.  Well, after Wednesday's run, I began to have trouble walking and it has steadily gotten worse.  I thought if I just chilled, took Friday off from activity that maybe it would get better and I thought it had.  Now today, I'm struggling.

I didn't feel like myself yesterday, I don't know why.  But, when I was eating breakfast this morning, trying to figure out what the heck I could do for some activity without doing any damage, I came up with nada.  Nothing.  And then I knew what was wrong with me yesterday.  I didn't do anything! This whole correlation between exercise and mood experts keep talking about...I think they're on to something. 

So, what am I battling today....fear, depression and let's be honest...just pure bitchiness.  Training starts Monday, but the way it's looking, I'll be heading to the doctor.  I'm scared that they'll find something that will put me on the sidelines which brings me to my ultimate fear...if I stop, will I start again?  I'm feeling sad, I feel like I want to DO something, but what can I do?  Hiking is out, walking is a struggle, the bike is out (pressure on the ball of my foot is like driving a nail in between my toes), the eliptical is out and I've already done strength training for the week.  Any more and my muscles will never talk to me again. So, what do I do?

Scary times for me, people.  Scary times.